One Moment In Time
by evanescent-rhapsody
Summary: Bella Swan is a raped/abused 12-year-old. She wants her parents to die, and they do, to escape from the torture. Though, she gets adopted by the Cullens - will she trust them? Full summary now inside, please R&R! Rated M for content/words. Gradual BxE.
1. Full summary

Full summary:

Bella Swan, or Isabella Swan, is 12 and is raped/abused by her parents. Her step-dad rapes her, while her mom abuses her by carving words on her skin with a needle (thus her great fear of needles). She's insomniac, and also a street-performer – just to earn money for her own means (although she has great musical talent, she didn't get a major recording label, or anything like that). She wishes for her parents to die, because she wants to regain her long-lost freedom, and when the social workers come looking for her to drag her to the orphanage (or in her opinion, bloody hell), she runs away, in an attempt to not get adopted. She, however, gets found by a social worker and eventually gets adopted by the Cullens (and she is starting to hate them… because she thinks that they're a bunch of annoying hypocrites). And then the Cullens try to make her feel accepted, and everything, but it is all up to her to decide.

And the most important thing is... She has an underlying secret of her own, that she has forgotten… Well, not really forgotten, but just for her to regain it back in the weaving labyrinth that she's stuck in.

Gradual BxE (yay).

Current genres: Angst/romance

Will change to: Fantasy/romance (in the later part of the story)

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A/N: Yes, I hope you enjoyed the summary. XD Anyways, please read & review! More reviews = faster updates = you get to find Bella's underlying secret sooner. ^0^


	2. Introduction

**(Bella's POV)**

"NO! MOM! DON'T!" I screamed as I got beaten again, because I'd accidentally dropped a glass plate.

"You bitch. You deserve this, so shut the fuck up." I screamed again, then my stepfather ripped my shirt open. I screamed louder as he tore my clothes and did something gross, I mean, gross to a girl.

"FUCK OFF, YOU RAPIST!" I shouted and struggled in his grasp, trying to get them off me. It didn't work, because I'm weak. I suffer from malnutrition and insomnia. And maybe I am insane, too. I kicked him in the ass, but it was too weak a kick, because I still couldn't escape.

Mom kicked me in the stomach, forcing me to shut up. This usually happened, when they were drunk, or when I dropped/broke something. I do that pretty often, thanks to my damned clumsiness.

I have no idea how I actually survived, though. Then Mom took out _the _needle. I screamed even louder, because she always used the needle to stab me, or engrave some labels on my body, like, "bitch" or "whore" or "fucked-up kid" (which is totally true anyway). She's smart, because by doing that, I ended up having a phobia of needles. Which means even if I do go to the hospital, I start kicking up a fuss when a doctor tries to inject me with anesthesia, or whatever drug it is. She uses daggers, too, which hurt even more. I'm like her personal whiteboard, remove the item called duster, please.

I cried into the night, hoping they'd die. If I had a way to kill them, that'd be great. I'm not the merciless one, they've been doing that to me since I was born. If someone killed them for me, I'd be way grateful.

The words "I'm a filthy whore called Bella" were engraved on my thigh this time, with me yelling all the way, of course. I was bleeding, but I was still conscious, which sucked.

I continued yelling, till I was too weak until I was whimpering into the night. School was paradise, I guess. Just a few more hours, before I could go to school. Of course, I didn't talk to anyone there, unless necessary. Some tried to be my friend, and I did accept them, but I didn't tell them anything that I wasn't supposed to. They were nice people, really, but I couldn't trust them with it, because if they called the police, I'd be dead.

They left me alone, after they had enough fun with me, and I was trembling, with a few tears falling freely. Fuck them all. I would love to kill them, maybe get a bazooka or rifle and shoot them straight in the heart or brain, better still, shoot it at their eyeballs, so that they'll suffer more.

Shoot it at their stomach, and blood will purge out from their damned mouths, and food mixed with acid and enzymes will explode out too.

Shoot it at their mouths, and they'll never be able to swear at me anymore.

Shoot it at their hands, and they can't ever rape or abuse or engrave anything on me anymore. But I couldn't get a weapon, because I was fucking short of cash.

I worked as a street-performer pretty often, and I don't know if it's even legal, because I'm twelve, but who gives a fuck about law when you have to survive? I got a guitar from a friend when I was eight, and it was amazing that she even gave it to me because I don't deserve it. I managed to get an iPod and an iMac after a some time of street-performing, which was great. Though, I didn't grasp the reason why the passer-bys even wanted to give me money. People tell me my guitar skills were incredible, my voice was pitch-perfect, strong mixed with vibrato and I had the ability to switch between soprano, or bass, or any pitch I wanted at will, but I guess they're lying. It's not like I can own everyone at, I don't know, Britain's Got Talent or something. I ain't some big talent, able to win over everyone's heart with my voice. If I could change the stone hearts of those aliens that lived with me and make them stop doing what they are doing to me, I'd have flown to heaven already.

I cleaned myself up, feeling a little giddy because I was losing some blood, then threw on a black shirt and a pair of black jeans, before I ran to school, iPod in hand, earphones in ear and my school bag over my shoulders. I'd be so glad to get out of this hellhole, and I'm glad I at least could go to school. Forks was a small town, so the running distance isn't that much after all.

The first class was Math, boring Math. I managed to stay awake and pay attention, no fainting here. If someone sent me to the hospital, it'd be way too embarrassing when a doctor tried to inject me.

Some other boring classes passed by, with me writing some shit under my table and singing in my head. Of course, the teachers were way too stupid to even realize that I don't even pay attention to what they are teaching. I get straight As, so they don't give a damn either, which rocked the volcanoes of the Earth. I do all the homework, so they're fine with me. I forge all the signatures, and they're too stupid to realize that.

It was breaktime, and I had a usual cup of coffee. That's how I stay awake, and that's how I keep seeing flashes or have a slight ringing in my ears. I don't mind, as long as I don't fall asleep and open the door when my parents are back. If I don't open the door, they'd usually come into my room and punish me even worse. Yeah, I'm they're personal maid, totally, fucking free-of-chage, not a single penny, not a single drop of water.

I thought school was going by just alright, until I passed out, and everything was pitch black. I couldn't even get myself up by pulling a song into my head. The next thing I knew, I was on the ground, and I spilled coffee on my shirt.

And then, before I realized what was going on around me, I was in the hospital, or so I thought, thanks to the smell.

Holy. Fuck. Not needles, I knew what would happen.

After a few seconds, I think, due to that thought of needles, I jolted awake. I glanced to my right, and I had definitely hit the bullseye.

Needles. A doctor with black hair was brandishing a needle, and I immediately started screaming. I almost ran out, but the nurses managed to pin me down, and I couldn't escape, even with my massive amount of struggling.

"Isabella, please calm down, I need to make you sleep because you need a surgery. You have a broken hand, you know that?" Of course, I preferred Bella, but I couldn't be bothered to tell him that.

"NO, I DON'T BUT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT! YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO MAKE ME SLEEP! I'M GETTING THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" I screamed and thrashed, but I was still locked in place. Then another thought came to my mind, if they didn't have to inform my parents that I was going for a surgery, then they were dead, or maybe they just didn't care.

If they were dead, then, wooh, I'll be glad.

The fucking needle inched closer to me, and I screamed louder, trashing against the nurses. The doctor sighed, then another doctor with golden blond hair came in.

I wasn't deceived by his semblance, I knew that however nice he looked, he would still anesthesize me. And I was right, because he took the syringe from the doctor with black hair. The one with black hair went out of the room, and I almost wanted to shout after him, "Go fuck yourself and get yourself to hell, alright?"

He patted my shoulder, and I was shocked by how cold his hand felt, but it felt good anyway. "Isabella... Please calm down, you'll be alright after some time, really." I still refused to give in, yeah, that's how smart my mother is.

He tried to calm me down, and I think it worked, I don't know, because I liked how cold his hands were. It was different from the way my mother's warm hands, and I'd be glad if this man could be my father, which was impossible.

Before I knew what happened, I was knocked out, and I didn't even realize that I'd been anesthesized.

A/N: Second Fanfiction, please review. Sorry that I can't write that well now, the pain from my sprained neck is annoying me and I feel like typing out some vulgarities to calm down. So there... Forgive my language up there, and you know Bella isn't that violent...

Or maybe she'll be in my Fanfiction. *laughs evilly*


	3. Running away

**(Bella's POV) **

I woke up in a white room. With pastel curtains and the whole crap. Well, I was glad I wasn't on an IV. If I was, I swear, I'm going to beat the shit out of those asses who stuck that needle in my arm. My arm was in a cast, but I really don't give a fuck, because injured or not, I was still going to perform at the streets. I don't care if it slows down the healing process, my bones naturally heal fast anyway, so I don't give a shit.

I kicked the blanket off me, and realized I had to get back soon. Whether they were dead or alive, I don't know, but if they were dead, then that's good news.

I looked through the drawers to see if I'd left anything, and I found my iPod and school bag. I took them out and I was about to get out of the damn room, more like run away, because I couldn't afford the medical fee, that was, when a middle-aged lady came into my room.

Please, let her be a fucking social worker. If she was one, that meant my parents were dead. No murder there, they were dead, killed by others, not me. I would love to thank those who killed my parents, but they might end up killing me too. She came to sit by me at the edge of my bed.

Hey, this could really be good news.

"Isabella..." she began. Ugh, if only they knew my preferred name.

"Yes?" I answered, putting on a perfect facade.

"I'm not going to beat around the bush, alright?" she paused, then sucked in a mouthful of air. "Your parents... They are..." Killed, dead, gone to hell, whatever it is, just tell me the good news that I want to hear. I put on a confused expression, just so she wouldn't think I'm a stupid little kiddo.

"They are dead. They were shot in the heart, and we're trying to track the murderers down now." Wooh, that rocked major hell. Though, I pretended to be stoning, zoning out, and going blank, another alternative since I had absolutely no idea how to fake tears. I ain't some big Hollywood star, alright.

She pulled me into an embrace, and I almost shrugged it off but I pretended to be still as a stone. She left the room, leaving me alone, probably I needed some time to grieve over them. Heck, no, this was a great time for rejoicing. The bitch and bastard, were at last, killed. I owed the murderer big time, this was probably the best news I've ever heard in my entire existence.

I stuck in my earphones, and I still pretended to be a zombie, just in case someone passed by and wondered if I needed to go to the asylum, because I was rejoicing over the death of my parents. I started playing 'Monster' by Meg and Dia, one of my favorite songs. (A/N: Meg and Dia's an awesome band, go check them out. Again, thank you, Abby, for introducing them to me.)

I decided that I had nothing better to do, so I took my cue, and went out of the damned room with my school bag, then realized I was still in hospital clothing.

Well, at least there was a washroom in the room, so I changed to my old clothes, not giving a fuck about the blood that stained the cloth. I managed to get out of the room, sneakily, without anyone noticing.

Here goes freedom. The first thing on my list, get back to the house. I got there in no time, because I couldn't be bothered about the pain that shot through me from my hand, I just loved the freedom, and enjoyed it. I took my guitar, all the books I had and the money that my parents had, of course. I swear, I was going to get a pistol. I mean, really, I'd rather live on the streets than in this suffocating apartment which held so many painful memories. I didn't want to be a masochist by staying here and hallucinating that they were here, maybe an appariton.

I stuffed the books and money into my bag, packed my guitar into a guitar case and I ran out of the house.

This was going to be great. I also remembered to take the pocket knife, I mean, really, the outside world's dangerous. I know, even with the pocket knife, I'd probably still be too weak to fight off those asses, but at least I did have a small weapon to defend myself.

I wasn't risking a trip to the police station by getting a pistol. A light and quick pistol would be great, but it was way too risky. I threw the pocket knife into the secret compartment of my bag, and couldn't help the smile that spread across my face.

Yeah, this was a new life, a life on the streets sounds pretty fun, really. I wasn't about to wait for some social worker to find me and send me to a fucked-up orphange, and get dumped to a foster home. No fucking way.

The money I got from my parents' room, hopefully, would be enough. Well, at least it was just a murder, no burglary there. I spent the rest of my day at Starbucks, getting a cup of coffee, of course, and enjoying my new life, happily sipping my coffee and blasting music in my ears, totally oblivious to anything that was happening around me. I got an Oreo cheesecake too, just because I haven't had lunch, or dinner last night.

Maybe I should just drop out of school, really, because I see no reason why I had to waste my money for survival for paying fucking school fees. I continued slacking at Starbucks, till evening or so, then went to the subway for street-performing. I managed to get a pair of shades first, just in case some social worker passes by and drags me to the orphanage.

More like another hell for kids without parents. Foster homes probably sucked even more, trying to open up with total strangers, or maybe they abused kids too.

I set up the things, and hoping people wouldn't recognize my voice, I started another night of street-performing.

"Monster, how should I feel? Creatures lie here, looking through the windows, I will hear their voices, I'm a glass child, I am Hannah's regrets..." I sang, yeah, it was 'Monster' by Meg and Dia, and I was having fun going mad with my guitar.

I managed to get through the night, thanks to insomnia, without getting tired or anything. And I was really thankful that there weren't any social workers around, because they looked more like paparazzi that drags you to a place you don't want to go to me.

The same old routine continued, some people tried to rob me when I took a short nap on the back of old buildings, but they were scared stiff, probably pissed on their pants when I took out my pocket knife and swung it around like, some schizophrenic psychopath.

Coward.

I decided that I had earned enough money, so I decided to "camp" in the forest for probably a few months. Yeah, I love Forks. I like the rain. I don't care if I fall sick, get a high fever or whatever in the rain, I just like the rain. And I don't care if people suspect that I have Swine Flu just because I keep sneezing, whatever the shit they think it is.

Maybe AIDS.

Maybe tuberculosis.

Maybe pneumonia.

Maybe Bird Flu.

Maybe a new epidemic.

_Maybe_.

And I swear, I wasn't going to risk another trip to the fucking hospital. My hand was healed within a few days, or so I thought, and I ripped off the cast, not bothering about

any anesthesia shit, or laughing gas. Whatever you call it.

I got used to this routine pretty soon, learning how to defend myself.

All went well, and I'd realized only a few days had passed, with me skipping school everyday, of course, since I'd yet to tell them I wanted to drop out. Okay, maybe I was too much of a coward to do that.

Until I saw someone again.

Fuck... My real wish would never be granted, would it?

A/N: So, THANK YOU FOR ALL THE REVIEWS! I don't mind criticism, and I do know I'm moving a little way too fast, but that's because I have something VERY, VERY IMPORTANT to work on.

Some novel called Darkness & Light.

Please review more, and if I'm in a better mood, I might sing Monster for you. Haha, just kidding... But who knows, I might really do that. My neck is much better now, yay, no hospitals, no doctors, no nothing. Anyway, I just updated my profile, so check it out for some stuff about my novel. Ah, I have a stupid essay to work on now.

I don't own a pocket knife by the way. The original idea was that she bought a pistol, but I don't want this Fanfiction to sound like, GTA. Haha, that was random. I remember I used to steal the police's cars and knock the police down, so all the policemen are hot on my heels. Yay.

Okay, whatever, REVIEW PLEASE. I'll try and get the next chapter done ASAP... Bear with me, you'll see someone called EDWARD CULLEN soon. Yay.

Or maybe not, because I like making Bella a violent ninja.

Hey, can you tell me if making her get a bazooka sounds like a good idea? How about I make her ride on Optimus Prime or a Decepticon? Okay, so I am random, and Transformers 2 is a nice movie. Yay. I am out of here, just in case I get really random, and lame. I love reviews, I'm a fan of them! *Creates a group on Facebook called "I like reading reviews on my Fanfiction".*


	4. Damn it all

**Disclaimer (forgive me, I forgot about this in the midst of excitement when I write): I don't own Twilight. I own an English paper that has a comprehension, which, in it, has the name Father Cullen, though. No joke, that's my English homework. Haha. I'm so excited to do that paper. When I saw Cullen, I started squealing into the phone (I was talking to a friend of mine, aka Spongebob who told me that) and almost made her deaf. Haha. **

**Hey there everyone! I'm so sorry about this freaking late update. I had my preliminary examinations a few days back, and it just ended, so I'm taking a break. I know, the last few paragraphs has that swear word, but that's because I got pissed.**

**And I decided to undergo personal free-of-charge therapy. My head hurts like crap now; I feel like punching the door of my room or getting a naginata and slashing down the doors in my house, and maybe get the walls peeled off too. My left brain hurts so much. That's the effect of me crying in front my room and staring out of my window. It happens to be sunny today. **

**I thought it was snowing like what I dreamed just now in my sleep. Ha. Okay, so it was snowing and I was wrapping my arms around my legs and singing quietly to myself on the Alps, and touching an Edelweiss which happened to be right beside me. As crazy as it is, I can't help liking it. I was smiling. So freaking... funny. **

**I thought I could be happy today because my father said he'd be getting me a keyboard. Then my mother ruins the day with a long bunch of shit that slowly builds up without me noticing. This sucks. **

**Anyway, here are my replies to the reviews. (sorry for not replying earlier, I was kind of busy. Kind of would be an understatement anyway. Jeez.) **

**Your reviews cheer me up! :D **

**sweetepie67: Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy this chapter! :D**

**Jazzys Mistress: Ooh, I'm evil. Haha. Just kidding. XD Thank you so much! I hope you like this. (^-^") **

**crazyperson17: Haha, I like your name! XD I will write more soon. :D Thank you so much, and for reviewing all my chapters!**

**Randomenated-Cullen: Thank you so much! Haha, I like Monster too! XD So, I'm going to put in more music here. Beware of the evil crazy person typing this. XD You're welcome by the way! :D By the way, I couldn't stop laughing when I typed in the maybes. Haha. **

**banana bandana: Thanks for the enthusiasm! Enjoy this chapter! :D **

**Melissa Cullen since 1994: Sorry to keep you waiting for so long! Thank you so much! Haha, yeah, it did, thanks for your concern! (^-^")**

**dancingwithEdward: Thank you so much! Here's more. XD**

**twilighthayley: (^-^") Hey there sis! Thank you so much! Haha, we all know someone else kicks ass more than Bella. XD Just kidding... Ah, I so feel like making a trailer for this story now. Anyway, enjoy Chapter 3! :D**

**Tenosix: Haha, thank you so much! That came from a nightmare that I had, which ultimately sent me waking up. Though, I'm grateful for that nightmare because if it weren't for it, I would have been late for school. XD Thank you, again! I hope you'll enjoy this!**

**Mrs0cullen: Thank you so much for your constructive criticism, it really helped a lot. I get your point, and I do hope this chapter is better! :) **

**InLoveJA: Oh, we all know how evil I am to think that cliffies are cool. XD Haha, thank you so much! Enjoy this!**

**mama2mnj: Thank you so much! Wait no longer, Chapter 3's up. XD**

**VickyxE~Bx: Thank you so much! Please review, and I hope you like this. :) **

**Kookie-chan: Thank you so much! I hope you like this! :D **

**SkyeGavin: Thanks, and I'm really sorry about it... I'll do that now. **

**So, enjoy, and please review!**

(Bella's POV)

(A/N: I decided to add the time from now on, just so to make things easier to understand)

**5:06pm**

A damned social worker was here to bring me to the orphanage, which was literally my personal hell. What the hell did I do to be forced into this, huh? Just running away from the stupid hospital, that's all, I guess. And illegal street-performing, maybe.

I knew better than to refuse this time, so I followed her, my head hung low and with my arms around my things. Maybe... I could find a chance to run away again. That's unlikely, but it was still worth a try. She tried to give me a lecture and talk to me about how rebellious and ungrateful I was, the whole load of crap.

To tune her nasal voice out, I stuck in my earphones and switched on the volume as loud as it would go, just so that she would get my hint and shut the hell up. I had no business with her, and I absolutely did not feel like talking to an adult. Dude, she was way too hypocritical for my liking anyway. I started listening to Rolling Star by YUI (yeah, I do listen to Japanese, I do speak Japanese occasionally, and I read manga too. And it's so much fun, I mean it.) since it was loud enough to drown out her voice. Her annoying, screechy and sharp voice that seemed to be able to shatter glass or something. Maybe set an atomic bomb off. Who knows, and who cares anyway?

If I could, I would be running out of the damned orphange tonight, and then I'll street-perform with Japanese songs this time. I took out Volume 1 of Shugo Chara! and began reading that on the boring ride. Kokoro no Tamago by Buono! came blasting into my ears, and I was enjoying the whole loud music, even if it would hurt my eardrums. Jeez, seriously, what was their intention? To stuff me in a suffocating, desolate room filled with other kids whom I totally could not relate to? Whatever it is, I'll find the caretakers as hypocrites.

Fakers.

Jerks.

Sonsofabitch.

Oh, so they were also going to send me to school too, I think. What the hell. This really did suck. I wondered what would happen if I decided to smash the glass windows, but decided against it just in case they locked me up in an asylum. Shock treatments. Psychiatrists. Padded cells. Psychics. Psychopaths. Pedophiles. More P nouns, and more insane people. My deceased parents should have gone there, shouldn't they?

**6:32pm**

Anyway, we took a ten-hundred-thousand-million-billion-trillion-zillion years to get to purgatory. Okay, I do realize that I should cut down on the melodramatics, but it was still too annoying. I took off my earphones and sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time in my head.

If I couldn't survive an orphange, I wonder how the hell I'm supposed to survive in a foster home. Having to lie to everyone with "Oh, I'm fine!" and smile like I'm so damn happy, like a happy little bird flying in the sky, over the rainbow, escaping lightning or a thunderstorm. Then I'll get asked about what happened, and every single ounce of dignity will be gone when they force the truth out of me. I don't know how they'll do it, but I guess those adults there will have a way somehow. What else? Shall I add being abused or raped again to the list? The other siblings in the foster family could take me as their personal punching bag and slave too. Sure, that's what I'm supposed to do. I'm made for that anyway. What else will the foster family do, hmm?

Drag me around the house like you're a rag cloth to wipe the floor full of dust?

Make me gobble the dust up?

Force me to eat shit and die?

Force me to drink their waste materials?

Threaten me with things like, "If you don't get a 100 for your Maths, I will hang you upside down on the balcony and pour ice on you, as well as start a fire below you and do an Indian chanting around you as I dance around with feathers on top of my head. And I'll set up a barbecue using your hair that's been made into charcoal while you scream your ass in the unbearable heat."?

Get me to become their personal worker-in-the-red-light-district (in the layman's terms, whore)?

Send me to a farm to live in animal's poo, or eat up their dog's or whatever animal it is, faeces?

Send me to American's Got Talent or Britain's Got Talent without me knowing, just so to see me get humiliated there? Because my voice sucks like shit, dude.

Jam a whole kilogram of drugs down my throat, and make me choke to death as well as make me die of drug overdose?

Squash me under their beds or throw me out of the window like I'm a mega-fun-to-play-with frisbee?

Spin me around with my legs like I'm a much-abused Barbie doll?

Dye my hair purple, black, yellow, red, orange, blue, green, brown, blonde, silver, golden, pink and white and show me off to the world via Youtube or Facebook or MySpace, or maybe Twitter too? Who knows, they might have 99999 friends on Facebook or MySpace, and 9,017,293 followers on Twitter. That way, my newly dyed hairstyle will be shown off to the world, and they can prove their newly found 'creativity'.

Repeatedly stuffing me into the TV, the fridge, the fan, the oven and washing machine? Ultimately, drop me inside the wok and pour oil and mix it with gasoline and peroxide, and light the gas stove up to burn me to a corpse with nothing but charred bones and blank sockets that holds nothing instead of the usual eyeballs, with black dissolved skin stained on the wok and the bones around my mouth in an 'O' shape because I was too busy screaming while they were too busy hearing my screams, and having the adrenaline which was from the excitement of seeing me in agony pumped in their veins?

Take me as a corpse and perform experiments on me? Holy crap, the needle.

I cut off my melodramatics (well, at least I didn't really linger and describe every single detail of what I thought would happen), and decided to _try _to at least be a little more optimistic. Think on the bright side, every single cloud has a silver lining, after the rain comes the rainbow, negative thinking impacts your health, blah, blah, blah, the whole shit to get rid of my pessimistic habits. Well, those things that I thought of were probably impossible anyway, but a few could be possible, huh.

What those optimistic, cheerful people who thought that those lines would help, who invented those lines don't get is, they can't force someone to change just through mere persuasion. Jeez.

Either way, I didn't even bother with greetings, I just went straight to the room that I was assigned to. There were some other girls around my age in the room, which annoyed me big time, because they were talking so darned loudly. Of course, my earphones saved me again. I put my stuff under the bed, while the other girls stared at me like I was a weirdo. Jeez, were they naive, stupid kids or what? At least the people in school weren't that annoying. Jeez.

I took out East of Eden and began reading while I lied down on my bed. Bad for your eyesight, sure, who gives a damn anyway?

I was enjoying the loud music - Storm by Vivaldi this time, my classical playlist, and enjoying the darkness of the book when I felt someone shaking my arm. I sighed, and pulled out my earphones, before sitting up with a look that probably said, "Dude, piss off, you ain't got no business with me".

"What?" I half muttered, half growled.

"What the heck is your problem, you antisocial freak? You come in here without even saying a 'hello'! Don't you have any manners? Just because you're a newbie, doesn't mean you have an excuse to wallow and drown in your own sorrows." Sorrows? Very, very funny. The only sorrow I had now was that this annoying girl was trying to act like she's boss in front of me, and the fact that I was dragged to this orphange, aka purgatory or hell. And yeah, I guess I don't have any manners - barely, and I do enjoy being antisocial.

"If you have a problem with me, that's too bad. All you can do is shut the hell up. Yeah, I don't really have any manners, and I enjoy being antisocial. I'm not even wallowing, dude. Piss off, because you suck at being boss. I won't be led by anyone, and I don't give a shit if you are older than me by a couple of months or years, or days or weeks, or hours or minutes, or even seconds. Just shut the hell up and get lost, because I'm not interested in making a conversation with an idiot like you." Of course, she deserved more, but I wasn't about to waste my breath on a childish girl like her who was trying to suck up to me, or act like boss. The leader of orphans. Very, very, funny.

She got scared, and backed off. Ha, coward.

I continued what I was doing before I'd wasted the few seconds of my life giving her my speech, enjoying the story and Symphony No. 25 in G Minor by Mozart, the next song of my classical playlist.

**10.01pm**

Those caretakers forced us to go to bed, and I had no chance of running away because the windows were too small for me to squeeze through, and they had, apparently, locked the gates of hell. What the heck?

Dude, abandon all hope of street-performing with Japanese songs already. I swear, this sucked. I don't want charity money, because I was used to earning a living for myself.

Which only left me one option - trying my darnedest to stay awake with only music. I couldn't even try and study (concentration does help in staying awake). I was sure, that if I slept, I would get a nightmare, maybe a premonition of what shit was about to befall me. I couldn't even practise my guitar, because I would wake everyone else up with my 'strumming-strength'. Jeez, this sucked, I swear.

I couldn't even sing the songs from Phantom of the Opera, or Edelweiss, or any Audrey Hepburn song, because to use a soprano, you need to project your voice. And I would create loads of noise.

This sucked.

Anyway, I ought to be grateful that I had a few Youtube videos on my iPod which I put in when I went over to a friend's house. That was how I put in the songs too anyway.

I got lucky - I had Breakfast at Tiffany's, the whole movie, in my iPod. So flippin' cool, I know. I spent about 2 to 3 hours, I don't know, watching it on full screen mode. And then Charade. All the movies that had Audrey Hepburn in it, were awesome. Lastly, My Fair Lady.

So much fun, I know. It just so happened that my iPod was a 120GB iPod touch, so I got lucky and I could stuff in all my favorite movies inside. I didn't want to watch Phantom of the Opera or The Sound of Music, because I knew I couldn't resist the temptation of singing along. (A/N: very, very, true. I love Phantom of the Opera, and my favorite song from The Sound of Music would have to be Edelweiss.)

**6.03am**

So... Here goes getting ready for school. The others were still sleeping, but, whatever. If the gate was open, then I could probably get to school way earlier, but I'm fine with that. It was better than staying in purgatory, of course.

I went to the toilet and did the usual morning things, threw on a dark blue long-sleeved shirt, a pair of frayed jeans and a pair of sneakers which had holes on it. Which reminds me, I should probably get a cup or two of coffee.

So, anyway, another caretaker (you think I bother with their names? No way in hell, dude.) came in and told the other girls to wake the hell up, and stared at me for 'waking up' so early. (How the hell do you wake up when you're awake all night?)

Those annoying kids sighed, while I seized the opportunity, and ran out with my school bag over my shoulders and iPod in hand, earphones in ears, and the word escape on my mind. To say the orphanage sucked, would be a freaking major understatement. I mean freaking major.

The gate was open, and I ran out immediately, not minding the fog or slight drizzle. Just run and the whole shit.

No umbrellas, no nothing.

I managed to get three cups of coffee and a sandwich before class started, just to soothe the grumblings of my stomach and my heavy brain, which I supposed needed some serious caffeine, or in my case, panacea.

**6.23am**

I ran to class, and waited, resisting the urge to whip out my iPod and blast some major music. Jeez, I wouldn't want my iPod to be confiscated by any teacher, so I resisted.

And I ended up sleeping. How the hell did that happen? I thought I had sufficient caffeine in my system. Damn it.

I had a nightmare, yeah, I don't want to get adopted - I was adopted by a man with golden hair and golden ocher eyes (who, I had to say, looked very much like the doctor with cold hands) and a woman with caramel-colored hair and golden ocher eyes, too. They were extremely pale, with dark circles under their eyes, which, amazingly, were darker than mine. Inhumanly beautiful, I had to say.

Anyway, I jolted awake after that dream, hoping it wasn't a premonition or anything of the sort. Well, it was awesome that I could get out of the orphange that soon, but like I listed yesterday, the possibilities of going to a freaking foster home... Ugh. We had English first, and through the class I was just reading Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte under my table. I swear, the lessons were all freaking boring like hell. Since this was a new semester... Oh, crap, I would probably die if there was a pop quiz, because I didn't revise anything, like, anything, much less pay attention to a single class.

Ugh, never mind. Not like I'd die if I fail... Unless I would be adopted _that _soon. You know, the whole Indian-fire-and-ice-and-hair-turned-to-charcoal-for-a-barbecue shit. But then again, it would probably be easy to get out of the foster house at night when everyone was sleeping for the sake of street-performing.

I didn't even know what the teacher was talking, I just stared at the clock, waiting for time to pass. Some of my friends offered me their condolences for my deceased parents, and I had to smile and say I had already gotten over it, when I actually wanted to break into a touchdown dance. Jeez.

Bad stuff - I had loads of homework to make up for my days of absence. Dang.

**(Carlisle's POV)**

_Flashback_

_"So, today at the hospital, I met this girl and I want to adopt her, because she looks... like, a broken child, or something worse." I looked around to check everyone's expression, and they held either looks of horror or happiness. Well, that was expected - I didn't need to be a mind-reader, or empath, or psychic to know. _

_It was obvious who were smiling - Esme, Rosalie, Alice and Emmett, but Jasper and Edward were horrified. I was glad to see Esme happy, for I knew she wanted a human child to take care of. Rosalie, Alice and Emmett would have the time of their lives. I was expecting that Jasper and Edward would be horrified. _

_"But... What if I kill her?" Jasper spluttered, obviously trying to avoid the danger of sucking her blood. _

_"What? Won't we have to expose our secrets?" Edward growled. Never mind the Volturi, son, I thought in my head. _

_"We'll have to be more careful from now on. I really want to help her." Esme squeezed my shoulders slightly, and I knew that she wanted to help her too. _

_"Very well. I'll try. Don't blame me if I lose control." Jasper grimaced. _

_"Oh, come on, you won't. I'll know it before it happens," Alice grinned at him, and she managed to make him smile somehow. _

_"...Fine. I give up." Edward nodded reluctantly, while I apologized in my head. I was sure he was annoyed at the thought of having a human in our lives, but Bella did seem to need help. Urgent help, that is. _

**(Bella's POV)**

**2.56pm **

Jeez, school sucked.

Anyway, I came back to the damned orphange with loads of homework - easy, though. There was a lot of noise, and the hoo-ha annoyed me immensely. I managed to find out that it was due to some people coming here to look for a kid to adopt. Great.

We were forced to wash our faces and wear the best clothes that we had, which was lame. Jeez, I was probably just going to walk around and avoid interaction anyway. This was irritating. Irritating, would be a major understatement, I swear.

Anyway, I decided to put on a tank top, a black cardigan and I wore the same pair of frayed jeans that I wore to school today. Not my best, but I couldn't care more anyway.

All I did was just lie down on my down, and read whatever books I found, while the other kids, full of enthusiasm, ran out. Crazy, I swear. And of course, having my iPod for company. I couldn't live without it, really.

The song that played was Black Wedding by Meg and Dia. Awesome.

**(Esme's POV)**

**3.11pm**

Carlisle and I looked out for signs of the girl, who, he told me, had pallid skin, dark circles, deep brown eyes and curly waist-length chestnut brown hair. We didn't see any girl that looked like her, though, which was disappointing.

"Hi, my name's Lauren!"

"My name's Jessica!"

The other kids started introducing themselves, and we smiled sweetly at them, but we were still looking for Bella. Carlisle went to the counter and asked the lady, "Excuse me, is there an Isabella Swan here?"

The lady looked flustered, well, more like annoyed, like she was irritated that Bella was missing or something. "Give me a moment." She stormed inside a room and got Bella out by force, and I was immediately displeased with her bad attitude towards kids. "Isabella, why the hell were you in there?"

She pulled out her earphones, and sent a glance towards our direction.

"This is the girl you're looking for."

She gasped at us, with a look of recognition. Well, I guess she probably remembered Carlisle.

"Uh, hi?"

"Hi, Bella, I'm Esme, and this is Carlisle, as you may remember." I smiled at her, and she had to force a smile back. I could see from her blank, untrusting eyes that she really was a broken child.

If only she would accept our help...

**(Bella's POV)**

**3.13pm**

Holy shit, weren't they the ones who appeared in my nightmare earlier? Great. I really was getting adopted. Well, I didn't have a choice anyway. I hate the orphanage, and I hate the foster homes too. And, le gasp, the doc's here.

Fuck...

I avoided their conversation, not wanting to hear the fucking details about this and that. "Oh, she's a runaway, so are you scared? She'll freak the living hell out of you. Night of the living Bella." Something like that, maybe.

Anyway, they went to another corner to talk, so I went back to my room, and once again listened to my music. Please, please, don't adopt me. I was sure I wasn't fucking ready for this. You know, the whole list of possibilities. Shit, fuck, damn it.

The door of my room flew open, and I looked up from my bed, wondering who the fuck barged in randomly like that.

**Haha. Another cliffy. XD Anyway, I'll probably take some time to update this, because I have major exams coming up. Bleagh. **

**P.S I love Fushigi Yugi, Digimon, Shugo Chara!, and Fullmetal Alchemist! XD Haha. Crazy, I know. Anyway, will you mind if I let Emmett and Bella have a match of Guitar Hero in future as well as a challenge to a round of Digimon cards? Haha! XD **

**I'm flippin' excited about the next chapters. The images are so damn vivid, my brain's about to explode from excitement. I am not a drug addict. I didn't touch anything that would make me go high. Haha. **

**Review please!**

**Some notes:**

***Atashi no kokoro, UNROKKU! Chara nari, Amuletto Hearto!***

***Atashi no kokoro, UNROKKU! Chara nari, Burakku Diamondo!* **

**Directed to someone who I know loves Fujisaki Nagihiko's Chara Nari. Hehe. Utau-chan! I feel like having two ponytails all of a sudden. XD**

**I'm so lame. **


	5. Memory

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight... Or New Moon The movie left me speechless, that's all I can say.**

**A/N: WHEEEEEE! WEEEEEEEE! KUPO! Kupopopo! (I am going high again! Weeeee!)**

**Oh hay thar everyone! ^0^ You guys did an excellent job with reviewing... I know this chapter is pretty long-winded and all, but I hope you'll enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. This has to be my current favorite... I enjoyed the second last paragraph A LOT, and I hope you'll enjoy it too! ^0^ **

**Also, I just wrote the lyrics for a song, and I am working on another, but can someone PLEASE tell me how to work iTunes exactly (like uploading your songs up there for sale)? I'll be grateful if you can help me with that! If you can, please tell me how to in your reviews. :) And if I get to record the songs soon, I'll try and upload it on YouTube. And you can flame me all you want... Ha. Ha. Ha. **

**ALRIGHTY!~ These are the replies to my dear reviewers! Thank you so much once again! ^0^ **

**15 reviews... You guys make my day. ^0^ **

**JoJoSoPo: Thank you! Hm, okay, I'll try and improve on that and please continue reading to know. XD Also, as for the lemons... Ahem, I don't know if that can happen. :l **

**Hailey Leigh: Thank you! I'll keep writing. ^0^ **

**Sexxy Vampire 16: Thank you! I hope you enjoy this chapter! ^0^**

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**Kookie-chan: Yep, I am doing better, but about my mom... Well, I don't know, but I am kinda adapting to it already. Hehe, you should read on to find out. XD Thank you so much!! ^0^**

**...-: ^0^**

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**ALRIGHTY, ON TO THE STORY!!! PLEASE REVIEW!!! I'll be veryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy happy even though I'm already very happy with the results of my major exams, since i got 239/300 (and I expected 200, with 2 As and 2 Bs... In the end, I got 1 A* and 3 As. Yay, I love English loads. AND YES I AM NOT THAT SMART. The top score in my school is 279/300) and it's the winter vacation! Yay! ^0^**

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**3.15pm**

(Bella's POV)

"Hey Bella," a soft voice called from the doorway. I recognized the lady as Esme. Well… She was beautiful, to say the least, with soft curly caramel-curled hair flowing down to her chest, and a pale heart shaped face with golden eyes. I, of course, was definitely not going to fall for that fake semblance. I'd all but seen that hypocritical face too many times to count, and I swear, I wasn't going to fall for it again.

Anyway, I plucked out my earphones, just so that I could hear what she wanted to say more clearly. Shit, please don't adopt me. If you don't adopt me, I'll owe you a million bucks. "Yes?"

"Well… We were discussing about you earlier, and we've decided that we wanted to adopt you." Holy shit, no. Was I given a choice? Probably not. And at that _impeccable _timing, the social worker came in to talk to me.

"Isabella," she said sternly, but that didn't scare me anyway, "You ought to be grateful that a family has decided to adopt you. And a good one at that. Dr. Cullen is well-known in the town of Forks, and you have no idea how much the other kids want to be adopted by him. You'd better make good use of your chance. With your background of running away from authorities, I don't see why any family would want to adopt you, even take a look at you." She sneered the last sentence. Esme looked kind of angry to me, but I guess she was being hypocritical again. The social worker got the message and left this bloody hellhole of mine.

Like I said, I didn't have a choice, and I probably _had _to get adopted anyway. I shrugged, and answered nonchalantly, "Okay." I'd already given in to the fact that I didn't have any other choice – could I put up a fight with everyone here? Heck, no. See? It is a no, and I know that for a fact.

Then Carlisle, or the doc, came in again, and smiled sadly. Right. More like feigning sadness. After some annoying talking with those hypocrites, they left me here to pack up. What the heck did I do to be adopted by these people anyway? Okay, so maybe I was an ungrateful brat, but those Cullens were probably rich, stuck-up, snobbish hypocrites. Did I have "siblings"? Maybe. Oh, crap. Now the abusing list just gets longer and longer, and I have to go through a longer period of purgatory.

This was going to be _great_. I slung my bags across my shoulders, striding past Carlisle and Esme and ignoring their requests to help me. Heck, no, I wasn't going to let them touch my guitar or manga or books, or any of my possession. Period. So I jumped inside the car with my new… foster parents. Well, I suppose that was the correct term, but no way in hell was I going to call them dad or mom. Ew, the mere thought of _that _alone freaked me out. What else, was I supposed to call my "foster siblings" (if I had any) big sis and big bro or lil' sis and lil' bro, if I had any? Goodness, that was… Disgusting. Disgusting, would be a major understatement, but I didn't have any more words to describe it at the time being.

So there I was, sitting on a leather seat at the back of the car, and getting ready for my own personal hell. I didn't try to make any effort to converse with those people right in front of me; rather, I just stared out of the window, humming some random classical mentally to myself. Right, the ride was boring, but I couldn't care less – I had to prepare myself, and get ready for another round of torture.

Why was it that my life was always filled with torture? It was annoying, to say the least, and I was sick of it. Of course, I didn't attempt to kill myself, because killing myself over these people who meant nothing, yes, absolutely nothing to me, would be stupid. I wouldn't fall for those ways of escaping reality by committing suicide. What do I look like to people, a gothic? An emo? I don't give a damn, because they were the ones who don't get what I'm going through. What can I say? Hi, I'm an ordinary hormonal preteen who's undergoing PMS, so I'm always pissed and I like the color black, so I MUST be a gothic and emo (some sort of stereotype)! Right. Very funny.

And here I was brought to… Some grand, intimidating white-colored house with lots of glass panels, and flowers blooming around the house. There was a gazebo too, and this house resided in the middle of the forest. Well, okay, so maybe the house looked welcoming, with all the colorful flowers, but apparently the presence of the people inside didn't really feel inviting.

I jumped out of the house with my possessions before Carlisle and Esme could touch anything.

"Here we are," Esme said to me, smiling. Oh yeah, she was smiling because she had just attained a new servant for free in an easy search. Sweet.

I stood on the porch, admiring the sophisticated designs of the house, and stepped in, waiting for my literal hell.

**3.36pm **

(Edward's POV)

Damn it, the moment that human girl was out of the car, the scent of her mouthwatering blood assailed the air. Like her blood was singing for me, which I hoped wasn't. Was she my _la tua cantante_? Hopefully not. I had an ominous feeling that if I lost control, she'd be dead once and for all.

Wow, Carlisle and Esme had such _good _choices. Or should I say, excellent. Then again, I was sure she was thinking of something – but I couldn't get inside her head.

What on earth was with this weird girl?

(Bella's POV)

So, my "siblings" were all waiting for me, thinking I would fall for their "grand welcome". Very funny. Like I said, I could see the hypocrisy, and I wasn't about to fall for it. It made me want to puke, the way all those inhumanly gorgeous people were assembled around the golden-colored living room. The interior furnishing of the house was excellent, I suppose. There were white pillars at a few points of the house, a grand mahogany-colored staircase, with Victorian-style chairs and Venetian chandeliers hanging down from the ceiling. There were loads of glass windows around too, and some other brown furniture that matched with the color of the walls. Great, so I was brought into a rich house filled with stuck-up people.

And then came the formal introductions.

"Hi, I'm Rosalie, it's a pleasure to have you here," the blonde was the first to speak. Well, of course you'd derive pleasure from abusing me. I could see that she wanted to hug me, but oh well, she got my message of "I'm not comfortable at all of you touching me, even if you just use one finger to poke my shoulder".

And then the giant sized guy. He introduced himself as Emmett. Holy crap, given his size and those muscles flexing on his shoulders, I wouldn't be surprised if he inadvertently killed me while punching the shit out of me.

Then there was this… bouncing pixie, who introduced herself as Alice. Her black, spiky hair was pointing in all directions, and she looked as though she'd gone high on ecstasy or something to me.

And then the other guy, another blonde, who introduced himself as Jasper. Well, well, he seemed to be quiet and like a Southern gentleman, but I wasn't going to fall for that trick again.

And the last guy… Edward. His hair was, shockingly, bronze. Was that even genetically possible? Anyway, I didn't fall for his trick, which was good – I just realized I hadn't fell for anyone's trick, and I wasn't about to be opening up. Call me stubborn and stupid, but I don't care.

I realized that it was my turn to introduce myself. So I decided to bow down, like what I usually did, and said, "Umm… Call me Bella." I wasn't about to lie through my teeth and tell them I was glad to be here. Right. This was like my personal hell.

It was at that moment that the crazy pixie stood up, and heck, I was sure she was older than me, but she was just taller than me by a few inches. "Come on, I'll show you your room," she enthused, and her eyes were literally sparkling – jeez, how long were they going to keep up with the façade? Just tell me that I'm not welcome here, and I'll happily get out of here. After all, they did get money from adopting me.

"Um, okay," was my smart reply. Well, at least it was nonchalant. She offered her hands out to take my things, but her gesture was rejected – I didn't move, I just waited for her to realize what I wanted. She frowned a little, but just got my message. Ha, too bad for you, pixie. I followed her up to my new room, while Rosalie and Esme tagged along too – couldn't they leave me alone?

It turned out that my room was at the third storey, which wasn't exactly convenient – I would take a longer time to rush to the door and open it for anyone arriving back to this house. As much as I disliked the Cullens, I didn't want to get into any sort of trouble with them – which includes raping and using the freaking needle, as well as abusing me physically in any way. So I'd made the smarter choice of at least showing them "respect" (yeah, right – to their face) and be silent, unless necessary.

Anyway, Alice opened the door for me, which I hated with a passion – I didn't want to be treated like some spoiled girl, having people to do everything for me. "Thanks," I muttered. She smiled, and almost dragged my palm inside, but my hands were clenched before she could do anything. Too bad, pixie. She once again, frowned, and I did a little mental happy dance at my success of pissing one "family member" off already.

I stepped inside the room and got a shock of my life – what the hell did they do to make the room so beautiful? Plus, how did they know I wasn't fond of pink? The room was painted white, and it would have been dull and boring, but apparently there were these complicated designs in black, which I immediately gave my attention to. The floor was made up of black tiles which matched with the designs, and I had a black wardrobe, a mirror with black frames, a metallic blue study table with a grey laptop on top, as well as a purple chair. And then the bed was, like, black with velvet pillows and shit, and an amethyst blanket with dark blue curtains draping around it. The windows were black and classic, with velvet curtains at the sides, and I had my own bathroom. Plus, there was a balcony too – with glass doors. The fences (A/N: I don't know what it's called, but it's that semi-circular thing surrounding it. Sorry, I suck at architecture and interior designing, or any other furniture.) of the balcony were intricately designed – golden, with curves at the exact angles.

What the heck was this? Surely this was not reality…

"You like it?" the pixie – Alice, was that her name? – asked in a high-pitched soprano.

"Uh, yeah," I had to admit. Though, love would be a better word.

Then she faced me and smiled. "Esme and Rosalie helped to design your room, and I bought the clothes for you. I went by estimation, so I hope they fit though." Wow, someone managed to estimate my size just by age. What a genius.

"Thanks," was my one-worded reply. Esme and Rosalie smiled at me.

"We'll leave you here to unpack. Tell us if you need anything," the blonde, Rosalie, said. I only just realized how inhumanly beautiful she was, and how, with her looks, she would win any beauty pageant she entered. Only I wasn't going to be enticed by anyone – I swear, even if they all had porcelain skin and mesmerizing golden eyes.

"Okay. Thanks," I said, glad that they could leave me alone in peace. I put my bags down, and opened the glass doors which led to the balcony. It was way more exquisitely designed that I'd seen – there were roses and violets around too, as well as a small fountain, which added on to the already tranquil ambience. And then there was a floor lamp too, adorned with golden ribbons. There was a silver chair beside it too, and a table. Right. This looked more like a scene from a fairytale.

Anyway, I decided that I had enough of enjoying myself, and I went to pack my things. I got a shock of my life when I opened the closet – apparently, Alice had stocked up literally the whole closet. Was she crazy, or what? For a start, a human being didn't need that many clothes, and anyway, who the hell told her to spend that much money? But then again, at least there wasn't much pink in it… Mostly my favorite colors, which was good, but I didn't want to owe her anything. I sighed, and stuffed the rest of my clothes inside. I put my guitar underneath the bed, and the few pairs of shoes I had were placed beside the bed.

Oh well, having a short nap wouldn't hurt, and I sure was getting lightheaded. I wasn't in the mood for any hallucinations today, so I settled for a short nap, hoping that it might help, even if just by a little.

And then I fell into a dreamless slumber, tugging the velvet pillow that I was sleeping on…

**7.48pm **

_Bella, wake up. You're going to be dead if you don't. _

That was what the bloody dream said.

With a startled shock, I woke up and glanced at the clock in front of me. There was a pendulum swinging back and forth, but the numbers that the hands were pointing to shocked me.

7.48pm. Shit. I was really so fried. I was going to get a big punishment, I swear. I ran a hand across my unruly hair, and ran down the stairs. Yes, miraculously, I didn't trip over the steps, or thin air.

Esme was glancing at me, and I could see my eyes mirrored in hers – wide with shock and heck, I was actually trembling a little – I looked pathetic, but that's the truth anyway. "Sorry!" I blurted out, flustered. Heck, did I have a chance to make up for what I'd done? I looked around, trying to find the kitchen.

"Why?" Esme whispered, almost shocked. Damn it, hypocrite, just shut up and let me do my job! I know I'm the servant, so just shut up, and please, don't use the needle on me.

"Because I didn't prepare dinner?" I answered. That was the most obvious thing. And dang, I'd managed to draw the attention of everyone in the room – which I didn't want. I blushed, and said again, "I'll do it now."

Before I could enter the kitchen, Esme had already stopped me with the fact that she had already prepared dinner. Damn it. I was so dead. "Bella, it's okay. I don't expect you to prepare dinner for everyone." She smiled, and gestured for me to come over.

Damn it.

I walked to her side emotionlessly, not wanting to show her the fear I held in my heart in the glassy eyes of mine. "I'd already prepared dinner; it's spaghetti. Why don't you have your dinner? I'm sure you're hungry…" she trailed off and gestured to the food in the kitchen. And dang, I was hungry. But then again, the food might've been poisoned, or was this some sort of ploy?

_Okay, so why don't you take 5 minutes to finish a plate of spaghetti, and then if she tries to do anything funny to you, go defend yourself with the fork. You could stab her for all you want, and make your escape. _A small voice said in my head. Great idea. If she took out the needle, I was going to run into my room, and probably jump out of the window. No, I wasn't going to commit suicide – it was an easy task anyway. She took a plate of spaghetti for me with a fork, and said to me gently, "Here, you can eat. And you can have seconds too."

Very funny. Did she really think that I was that stupid to fall for her hypocrisy? No. The others left me alone and went to watch some stupid sitcom on TV. And holy shit, I guess I had to sit with Esme in the living room, where everyone was gathered. She smiled again, and it annoyed me deeply. Ugh, couldn't they leave me alone…

I picked up my fork and shoved the food down my throat, not minding that it was still piping hot – at least it could soothe my rumbling stomach. Plus, it wasn't that bad – the spaghetti was okay, but I still couldn't help the pessimistic thoughts in my head. And no, I still didn't get any closer to these people.

I miraculously finished my dinner in a few minutes, and by then everyone was staring me. Oh, hi, don't you know that I'm the eating monster? Not. I stood up and went to wash the dishes, before going back to my room again. Or, let's say I intended to, but Carlisle called me over.

Oh, bloody… shit. Was I going to get punished? Yes.

"Bella," Carlisle began, while I braced myself. "We've decided to enroll you into a different elementary school, because we wanted to give a new start." Whew. Just that. "Is that okay?"

"Yeah, sure." Who cares about school? At least it wasn't some raping or needle-usage today. I stood up, and went up to my room.

Damn, I couldn't stand the hypocrisy, I swear.

I decided to use the computer for awhile, knowing I had to wait for everyone to sleep before I could go out and do my street-performing. Well, well. I had barely made any verbose conversation with anyone yet, and I was proud of that.

I switched on the computer, and watched some random videos of Shugo Chara!, and I checked up some of my favorite songs. Yeah, that's a very good way to kill time, I must say.

**11.02pm**

Damn it, it was already 11.02pm anyway. I was sure they would be sleeping. Unless they had insomnia, like me, which was highly possible, but who cares? It wasn't like they weren't all inside this house.

I took my usual street-performing stuff, and dashed out of the house. My clothes were different – I'd taken a warm shower to calm myself down, and stumbled across some apparels that I liked in the crazy closet. I decided to perform with some Japanese songs today. Before anyone could catch me, I ran out of the house at full speed.

Too bad.

(Edward's POV)

I heard from Alice that Bella was going to go street-performing. What the heck did she think we were? It wasn't like Esme and Carlisle didn't want to give her allowance, and she most definitely would be able to survive here. Alice had to stop Esme and Rosalie from following Bella, and she promised them that she'd keep an eye on her through her visions. And Jasper sent out waves of reassurance, before everyone else could finally calm down.

To summarize it up, that girl was weird. I couldn't get into her mind still, so she probably had some unknown powers or something…

**3.04am**

(Bella's POV)

I'd just finished a round of street-performing, and I'd managed to earn quite a good sum. Ugh, I was tired – exhausted would be a better word, actually.

I went to sit at one of the isolated benches, looking out for any strangers or psychopaths. I'd forgotten to bring my pocket knife, so I guess my source of defending would be the tree branch residing under the bench. That was enough – at least I could gouge their eyes out or pierce their lungs, or do something crazy. (A/N: A naginata is a million times better…)

I stuffed the money into my pockets and held my guitar tightly. The night breeze was amazing, and I loved the presence of the stars. I had some sort of weird connection with them; occasionally I'd get brief flashes of a black-haired lady, or should I say, queen, since she did look like royalty.

Each time I saw her, she'd either be wearing a black or white knee-length dress made purely of satin with intricate patterns or ribbons, and a barrette on the bottom her silky black hair, which complemented her pale skin very well. Her crown was made of silver, with exquisite designs of roses and angel wings and an emerald in the middle, which looked more like a hair band to me. Either that, or she'd be wearing some weird clothes that seemed to me, be what the commoners wore. She had the same brown eyes as me, and she'd always wear a necklace with a chain of lapis lazuli, and a pendant made purely of opal, with angel wings carved out of sunstone. Sometimes she'd be carrying a swallow-blade, or she'd be standing with another person of royalty with dark orange hair and a little braid on the right. From the orange-haired lady's eyes, she looked as though she was beckoning me to come back to… Somewhere. Okay, that's weird. I know I sound like a crazy freak and all, but those flashes… Felt like a part of my – for a lack of better word – _memory _. Almost as though I knew that person like the back of my hand.

With that, I subconsciously fell into a short slumber under the stars.

* * *

**It's another cliffy because I am evil. Bwahahahaha. Also, the second last paragraph is VERY IMPORTANT! Please note that. The next update should be pretty soon, since I have loads of time on my hands, and I sure have time to write since I'm sketching random landscapes/portraits here and there outta boredom. And writing songs - yay! And I'm getting a notebook this Sunday (I think); it's a gift - so earlier updates? Heeeeee! **

**Alrighty, review please~ ^0^ I LOVE YOU GUYS!!~ Kupo!**


	6. School

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight… Can I have it for Christmas? Well, no. **

**A/N: HI EVERYONE!!! 12 reviews! That made my day… I know I am being greedy, but if I get a lot of reviews for Christmas, I'll make sure Chapter 6 comes very quickly… Hehe. Probably before New Year arrives. ^0^ **

**In case you didn't see the notice on my profile, my goal for this story is 1000 to 2000 reviews. And in return, if the response is excellent, marvelous, fantastic, amazing, grandiose, splendid, and whatever good adjectives, I WILL CONSIDER WRITING A SEQUEL. So… REVIEW! ^0^ **

**Plus, I did make an effort to make my writing better, even though I have a cold, so please, please, please, review and make my day. Every time I read a review, I start the mental squealing! XD Anyway, my best friends right now are tissue papers. Though, I am sorry for abusing it with my snot. XD **

**CURRENT STATS FOR ONE MOMENT IN TIME: 45 reviews, 4,336 hits, 1 C2s, 61 Favs and 64 Alerts. Can we hit at least 200 reviews by chapter 10? Of course we can, if you review!~ XD**

**My replies to the wonderful reviews: **

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**Tenosix: HAHA! Yeah, I know. But it takes time to build trust… Or maybe she is too much of a pessimist. Hehe. XD Well, she doesn't have a choice, but she doesn't really care anyways. XD Thanks for your opinion… It meant a lot to me. But I guess doing that does take time, so just continue reading & reviewing this! XD Thank you so much!! Merry Christmas! ^0^ **

**LiveLaughLurve3: Thank you so much! Here's what happen next… Just school, actually, but I had so much fun writing this! Anyway, enjoy, and Merry Christmas! ^0^ **

**xXxQUINNxXx: *blushes* Thank you so much! I am still improving on my writing, but I hope I did a better job on this chapter. Thanks for that, I'm really glad I managed to do it… I hope I can deliver the angst well! Well, here it is, so enjoy! And Merry Christmas! ^0^ **

**EMMETT-L0VER: Chill buddy! XD Here's the next chapter… Thank you so much for reviewing! Merry Christmas! ^0^ **

**NOW… Read and review, and I'll try update before the New Year. XD **

**Also, like what Tenosix said… Is this story hard to review? :l I hope it isn't, but whatever it is, please just review, because I really want to hear from you, and your comments on how this story is going. It gives me more motivation to write, so… Yeah. Anyway, enjoy this! ^0^ **

**6.43am**

**(Bella's POV) **

I was abruptly jolted awake from a dream – more like a song in my head. Damn it. And it was such a good song…

I sat up and leaned against the bench for support. I needed coffee desperately, and I needed food too. I had an unusually big appetite (if the food is appealing, that is) and a high metabolism, so I wasn't very glad with the fact that I only had a plate of spaghetti for dinner. Well, it could've been nothing, so I ought to be satisfied. Either way, I was going to spend the lunch break wisely in school – maybe eat 3 plates of food at one shot. Now that sounded good.

I yawned and put my guitar down, and the time on my wristwatch scared the living hell out of me. Crap. I was so royally screwed. School started at 8am (A/N: I don't know about yours, but mine starts at 7.30am, so I usually reach there at 7am… Though, I was late a few times after the major exams, and the latest was 8am – which I still find funny. Some sort of inside joke… Haha. Mrs. Phantomhive will know XD), and I had to prepare breakfast for the Cullens, take a short shower, change into something appropriate and then run to school. Lovely. I screwed myself up with the short slumber of over 3 hours.

I took my guitar and ran, full speed ahead. Like I wasn't already screwed? Shit… I didn't want another round of abusing for not preparing breakfast. Damn it! And being late on the first day of school wasn't exactly nice in my opinion. Even if one of the Cullens did offer me a ride to school, I'd just refuse – or should I say, _decline_, because breathing the same air with them was kind of annoying. Then again, I am their dog, so I don't have the choice to voice out my opinion.

I skidded to a halt outside the door. Oh, right – I didn't have the keys. Now that made it worse, because I had to rack my half-awake brains for proper ideas on how to get inside the house. Well, at least the windows beside the door were open, which was good. I climbed inside, ran up my room to put my guitar, and began to prepare breakfast. No one was awake yet, which was excellent. With enough luck, I might be able to escape any round of torture their crazy brains were able to think of. And I didn't dare to be pessimistic this time, because I wanted to believe that I could be quick enough, and that I could at least give them satisfaction from my 'performance'. I made pancakes and scrambled eggs, and tasted some for myself before laying everything on some plates. Well, it was edible… And I thought it tasted alright. At least the pancakes weren't charred, and the scrambled eggs did have enough flavor in it – I hoped they didn't mind the pepper and basil though. I took out a jug of milk from the fridge, and laid out the honey syrup and margarine on the table.

"Good morning, Bella – oh, you needn't have prepared breakfast…" I heard a voice chiming from the stairs. Whew. I completed it just on time. I gazed up and saw Esme coming down. Ha. Needn't have prepared breakfast? Don't freaking make me laugh! Do I look that retarded as to give you a chance to abuse me? Well, _I _don't think I do.

"Good morning," I answered, making sure the amount of cheerfulness in it was enough, and I managed to give a small, fake smile. She smiled at me, and came over. She made me stiffen by being so near… Crap. I didn't screw up the breakfast, did I? Or was the pancakes and scrambled eggs not to her satisfaction? Damn…

"Thank you for making breakfast… You shouldn't have. I'll do it in future." She smiled at me, while I was on "beware-of-the-hypocrisy" mode.

"Er… You're welcome." I replied, and dashed up the stairs, not able to tolerate standing no less than an inch from her. As clumsy as I was, I managed to not fall for once, but I almost knocked the bronze-haired guy down – what was his name again? Ed-something – oh yeah, Edward.

Holy shit, wrong move… "Sorry," I mumbled, hoping he'd accept my apology. Or should I say, "I am sorry, Mr. Cullen. It was wrong of me to not watch my steps." And then I should kneel down, begging for forgiveness. "Please, if thou can have mercy on thy useless servant, grateful, I will be." Something like that? Just as long as I could escape torture.

He turned back, and with that soft look in his eyes (which I still refused to believe), he replied, "It's fine." Whew. Thank goodness… Well, for now. I wasn't putting my guard down yet, until I had successfully reached my room.

He didn't come chasing after me, so I did reach my room in one piece. Thankful for being alive, I quickly went to preparing myself for school. I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and looked for something that was appropriate to wear, which was taking some time, given that the closet was almost as big as my room in the past... house. Shit. No. I was having hallucinations again, a side-effect from insomnia. Definitely not my idea of a perfect day. I shut my eyes, and tried to concentrate on breathing. The apparitions of my deceased parents were making me hyperventilate, and I crouched down in front of the closet, hoping that the vivid images would stop haunting me. I opened my eyes – a bad idea, because I was still hallucinating about the past.

A white figure suddenly burst into my room, and I could feel my heart rate skyrocketing. I needed to get out of this state… And believe that the white figure wasn't my mother. I needed to control my bubbling catatonia, so I clamped a hand over my mouth, forcing myself to not scream, afraid of the disastrous consequences. I could still remember I was in the Cullen household, but the hallucination was slowly dragging me away from reality.

"Bella? Bella!" The figure spoke, and I recognized it as a different voice. I was abruptly brought back to reality, and I realized that it was Alice. Thank goodness… I heaved a mental sigh of relief, and stood up, before blushing – so she did witness my "crazy-zoning-out" scene. Damn.

"Alice," my voice was no more than a whisper, but I was pretty sure she could hear it anyway. With a worried glance (Yeah right… Worry…?), she inched nearer to me, and I tried not to stiffen, but my heart was still palpitating away rapidly. I was still perspiring slightly from the shocking hallucination, and I probably looked twice as pale as I usually was. Yes, like a ghost, or a soulless zombie.

"Are you… alright?" She asked quietly, patting my shoulder, while I winced mentally at her touch. It was just the both of us here, so she could do anything she wanted to me. And then she could tell the whole family how crazy and screwed up my brain was, so that they'll probably chain me in a dark dungeon, only giving me a slice of bread and a drip of water a day…

I remembered that Alice was here, and she was probably waiting for a response, so I merely nodded, and she stopped patting my shoulder. Good. I wasn't exactly fond of her cold touch, even though the coldness did appeal to me… in a strange way. "I'll leave you alone to dress…" She said in a soft tone, which, to me, held hypocrisy beneath all the softness, and the hospitability that was beginning to give me the creeps. The pendulum of the clock that was swaying made me look at the time – holy crap, 7.25am? I was probably going to be late, unless I ran at full speed – and risk falling down.

I had to remind – or lie – to myself that I was alright a few times, and I was alive, before I could control my limbs and finally move. I picked out a white long-sleeved collared shirt, a black tie, a black-and-white checkered skirt, and a pair of black knee-length socks. My wristwatch was left on my wrist – I sort of had a habit of checking what the exact time was. I thought I looked pretty decent, and I was satisfied as long as no one would be able to see my eternal scars – the words carved by… You know what. I shuddered slightly at the thought of it, but grabbed my black messenger bag with my school books (which I packed yesterday night, before I went out for street-performing), slipped on a pair of brown boots, and went downstairs. Boy, I was starving. Ravenous would be a better word. I wouldn't mind shoving down a quintuple stack of pancakes and a plate of scrambled eggs down my throat now. And I needed my daily caffeine fix… Urgently. I didn't want to break down in front of class while hallucinating, and allow the teacher to come to the friggin' conclusion that I did, indeed, have something wrong with my brain.

Alice squealed when she saw me. Now, what the hell did that pixie want? I would never submit to letting her give me a makeover, even a 'mini-makeover'. Also, I was hoping very much that she didn't rat on me about the _incident_. I gave a slight wave, hoping that she wouldn't drag me back up to my room and make me sit in front of the mirror for hours. Esme then called me over to the dining table. "Bella, why don't you have your breakfast before school?" Unable to resist the temptation to freaking shove the food down my throat, I nodded, and immediately rushed over to the table. I took a plate and a fork, stabbed three pancakes, as well as a scrambled egg, and placed them on my plate. Too bad there wasn't coffee… Oh well. I ought to be grateful that I even had a proper breakfast, and that it wasn't granite or cement-flavored toast, or maybe maggot eggs.

"Thank you," I said to Esme, even if she did find it weird that I was thanking her when I was the one who prepared breakfast. Well, thank you for letting me eat. She looked a little confused, but smiled otherwise. I poured some honey syrup on my pancakes, and shoved half of a pancake at once into my mouth –I was eating voraciously, a little like an animal. After which I held up the plate and let the scrambled egg get into my damn mouth – you could say I didn't have much table manners, but I wouldn't care, and anyway, I did that all the time when I was in a hurry (A/N: So do I~ Yay. However, when I am not in a hurry, I can take up to an hour to eat – which I term as savoring the delicacy. ^0^). Well, it tasted alright, but I was still desperate for coffee. Alice and Esme stared at me in shock – yeah, because I finished it in record time, while the others were just dressed and beginning to come down the stairs.

I didn't forget to wash the plates – well, I was being obstinate and when Esme tried to persuade me to not do the dishes, I shrugged I told her that it was fine – which truly was, since I, for one, didn't want to undergo another round of torture, and anyway, it only took a few minutes, so I probably wouldn't be late. I finished, and everyone was already seated at the dining table. Great. So long, hypocrites. I snatched my bag from the chair, and prepared to leave.

"Bella?" I recognized that bell-like voice as Rosalie's. I spun around, and she continued, "We're driving you to school, so you don't have to go on your own." No way. I wanted to escape from the hypocrites, so in a feeble attempt, I came up with a rather lousy excuse (in my opinion, that is. Hopefully it works on those idiots).

"Oh no, it's okay. I can go on my own." I turned around, ready to get out, but I couldn't find the keys to the doors. Oh right. I didn't have my own keys, so I went for the window again. It was still left open, so I jumped out of it with ease, and ran at full speed, trying to ignore the sound of my name. I could hear people calling me – probably to be careful, or to give me the keys, or for me to wait, because they would gladly drive me to school. Ha. That was hilarious – they were all, after all, filled with hypocrisy.

I stuck in my earphones, and began running at my maximum speed, making sure to not trip over any tree branches, or over thin air. Or knocking my head against a pillar that appeared out of nowhere, and getting a concussion.

**7.50am**

Oh yeah. 7.50am. Awesome. I was just 10 minutes from being late, but at least I was on time.

And suddenly, here I was, standing outside the general office like the wimp I was, regretting that I'd even agreed to change my school in the first place. Sure, I didn't own a choice, and as much as I didn't want to undergo a round of torture, a pang of guilt and regret washed through me – because those close friends of mine had kept me alive, and had managed to release me from my angst on occasions, when we were happy. When we were laughing, when we spent those times together… And I didn't even tell them a proper goodbye, plus I freaking owed them an apology. Though I didn't tell them my secrets, but still…

Damn it.

It took me a few seconds to realize that the tears were falling silently. Oh. Now I really was being a wimp. So maybe I should just live in solitude ceaselessly. Yeah. I should give it a shot. Maybe I should just lie to myself and say, "This is just an aberration".

I dried my tears, and walked into the office, hoping that there weren't any obvious trails of tears that I left. I was such a damned coward.

I walked up to the middle-aged lady behind the counter, and she immediately stood up. She probably already knew who the hell I was.

"Isabella Swan?" she asked, while I nodded – yes, this bloody felt like déjà vu. And then another lady appeared behind her – my teacher, I assumed – she looked rather beautiful, but again, I wasn't falling for the façade. Even though she really did look gorgeous, with her luscious light brown locks hanging to her waist, which shone lightly in the light, with her sapphire-blue eyes. She looked no older than 25, but then again, it was probably a deceiving semblance. Don't ask me how I made friends, because I don't know. I was being a judgmental, antisocial ass now, but better to be on the safe side. The teacher smiled gently (ha, you know what I always say after a smile, or a gesture of concern or worry), and gestured for me to follow her.

I happened to be posted in the elite class – which meant more homework, more distractions. Good. Though, I would have to put up a fight with my inner self to stay awake. But the idea of being in an aristocratic class seemed incongruous. And may I add, hilarious.

She led me to my locker and opened it for me. Goodness, I didn't deserve such treatment. I thanked her (audibly, I mean), and she initiated a small conversation while I was rummaging my messenger bag for my pencil case and books, which were held in binders.

"So… Do you prefer being called something else?" Well, yes, Ms. Mind-reader.

I made eye contact with her and nodded. "I prefer Bella, actually." She nodded and smiled again, then introduced herself as Ms. Arianne. Well, she was pretty nice for a teacher (the way she welcomed me happily), but I didn't usually get close to teachers, unless their lessons happened to interest me. I could get close to teachers and friends, but 'family'? Hell no, because the impression was burnt deeply in the tissues of my brain perpetually. The other kids were starting to come in, and they all shot glances at me, making me sigh softly (even though I wanted to slap my forehead with my palm). Didn't they have other things to occupy their sight?

I made my way to the front of class with Ms. Arianne, preparing my mini-speech for the class. I tapped my foot impatiently, wanting to get this over and done with. It was all, in my opinion, a bunch of bullshit that shouldn't even exist. What was with the formalities?

Ms. Arianne smiled, and began her 'opening speech'. "Good morning class. Today, we will be having a new student joining us." She smiled again, and gestured for me to introduce myself.

I sighed mentally again, and curtseyed. "Hi, I'm Isabella, but I'd prefer if you call me Bella." Some people waved, while the dear bimbos who happened to be sitting at the back glared at me. Well, this was going to be just _intriguing_. Then she gestured for me to take a seat, and thankfully, there wasn't anyone occupying the space beside me. I happened to be seated under the nose of the teacher though, so it wasn't very good for me – unless I got my caffeine fix… Dang.

She placed a stack of textbooks on my table, and explained to me roughly what they were going through. Well, first lesson of the day – Math. I loved just about every subject in school, so unlike most people, I liked Math, and I didn't abhor it even though I knew I probably wasn't going to have any use for it in the near future. Most of the students groaned, though, so Math was probably unpleasant to them.

We happened to be touching on the basics of measuring volume today, so that was easy. I spent my insomniac nights studying on occasions, since I was bored, and studying was an excellent way to kill time. No sarcasm intended, for real. Length times breadth times height was the formula, and I'd memorized all the funny formulae a long time ago. I was already drifting in and out during the lesson, and Ms. Arianne didn't purposefully call me just to check if I was paying attention. Well… Maybe she wasn't that bad after all. _Maybe_.

**9.58am**

Now that we had recess, I was doing my mental, rather crazy, happy dance – just because I could shove food into my face, and of course, my caffeine fix.

The one good thing about living in a tiny and inconsequential town was that there weren't many students, so there was actually a "for-people-who-want-to-sit-alone" table – hey, there were actually a few. The eccentricity was, however, that no matter how small a town this was, there were still stuck-up, egoistic and annoying bimbos, for a lack of better word. Now that, was something cryptic that I would never be able to comprehend.

I wasn't planning on fraternizing with the others, even if some of them did seem nice enough… Oh yes. I had indisputably forgotten how to freakin' befriend someone.

So I got a plate of pasta, a plate of waffles, a cup of mashed potatoes and two cups of normal coffee. The paradox was, you probably would have thought I was a parsimonious little idiot who would never spend that much money on food, but the truth was, I actually did earn quite a lot from street-performing almost every night, so who cares? High metabolism, more food, greater satisfaction.

I was planning on having a "mini-tour" around the school, when some of the… girls came walking towards me. I wanted to vomit blood, I swear. They were wearing promiscuous _and _prominent clothes, that showed off most of their skin, and since it wasn't exactly cold today, they weren't wearing a coat. I looked emaciated, but in my opinion, they looked hella anorexic. Or bulimic. Either way, the thought of just talking to them was contemptible, to say the least.

"Hi, newbie." Ass #1 snorted in my face. Dear abrasive idiot, please keep in mind that my sarcastic ways will definitely make you back off. These little kiddos didn't scare me a little bit. Being a girl, I didn't have balls, but I did bloody have guts. And they were stupid enough to not know that I could be a satirical person (when I wanted to).

"Hey, Ms. Anorexic. How's the food?" I smirked, and walked away. Ha ha. The look on her face was… bloody priceless. I wanted to die of laughter now. Gotta love sarcasm… A lot.

Anyway, I continued with my agenda, and went for the "mini-tour". The school was rather small, but whatever – some decorations were really nice. Like the voussoir with roses entwining around it, that led to the school garden… Probably artificial roses. Roses were my favorite, though I wasn't exactly sure _why_. I just had some sort of… connection, for a lack of better word, to it. Even though I barely knew what that connection was.

And then I saw the music room. Gosh. I wanted to play the piano, the drums, the clarinets, the flutes… There was even a violin, a ukulele, and a mandolin.

Wow.

The walls of the room appeared rather outlandish to me though, but who cares? Just because it was slightly dusty here, and because the walls seemed pretty old, didn't mean that there was something detrimental lurking.

The piano wasn't closed. I stared at the black and ivory keys in wonder, feeling like I did learn _a lot _of piano before. Well, did I? I couldn't remember much of my childhood, but the piano seemed to be calling me to play. I flexed my fingers – now I felt like a voracious pianist…

I sat in front of the piano keys, thinking of what to play. Edelweiss? Pachelbel's Canon? Something simple?

Oh yes. I could play Rose of May – that soundtrack from Final Fantasy IX, composed by Nobuo Uematsu (I used to play Final Fantasy IX at a friend's house, but… well, she moved to I-don't-know-where). I loved that song wholeheartedly – plus, the underlying sorrow beneath those notes was what I needed.

I began to play, humming to myself all the while…

_Because I don't want to be a murderer anymore. My blood-stained hands… War, fighting, killing... All that violence. Tainted innocence. The bloody-red blade. _

I paused halfway while playing. It seemed like someone was talking to me… But who would bring up violence and murder all of a sudden?

This was weird, but whatever.

I continued playing, ignoring the questioning thoughts about what the hell that was.

**So here you got to see a softer, weaker side of dark Bella. XD Well, at least you know she does treasure friendship. I know she is annoying, acting like an antisocial idiot and all, but her trust in humans (or vampires, for that matter) has pretty much been shattered… Well, towards her new family, at least. Anyway, don't flame me for making her like that… :P **

**I love Rose of May by Nobuo Uematsu. I love his compositions for Final Fantasy IX! WHEEEEEE! Anyway, if you do play Final Fantasy, which one's your favorite (tell me in your reviews!)? Mine would have to be Final Fantasy IX, Final Fantasy VII, and Final Fantasy VIII… In that order. *childhood memories* **

**Also, I know that the "Because I don't want to be a murderer anymore. My blood-stained hands… War, fighting, killing… All that violence. Tainted innocence. The bloody-red blade" thing is kinda confusing. And I am a very evil person, so too bad! Just kidding… XD But hey! If you review, I might just be a nicer person~ Whee~**

**ANYWAY, PLEASE REVIEW! This is my Christmas present to all my dear readers & reviewers… Your review = my Christmas present. XD **

**Review please, and I'll update soon (I will take time to write the next chapter!). ^0^ Thanks a million! **

**Merry Christmas to all!~ God Bless. ^0^ By the way, tell me how you're celebrating Christmas… I'm curious. I don't live in America, Canada, England, or any English country, so I wouldn't really know. XD And for the Christians out there, I hope you have fun celebrating Christmas in church (if you are going)! ^0^ I am going to celebrate it in church … Yay!~ ^0^ **

**Xxx**

**P.S Peanut butter and a banana = tastes yummy in your mouth. XD **

**P.P.S Should I change my pen-name?!? To maybe I-like-to-stuff-food-into-my-face? I don't know, but feel free to leave your suggestions in the reviews. ^0^ **


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